Update April 30, 2007

I’m extremely nervous about tomorrow. I want him to give me the job right away because I suck at interviews. I blow chunks. Hopefully he wants me to work, which would be good because I want to work, I can’t see myself hanging around the house for two months, I would be bored out of my mind. I told Jake I would be excavating for free if I couldn’t find work. This will be my first real archaeological job! Hope I don’t fuck it up.

I like to call it a clusterfuck. April 28, 2007

Clusterfuck. That’s the only word to describe the situation I am in at this present moment. Having sunk all of my pitiful savings into preparing to go to Poland, I am now indescribably in debt. Now, prior to today there was a little hope at financial stability since I was applying for OSAP and Work Study. Here’s where the clusterfuck comes in. Because I am going to a university approved by OSAP I am not eligible for any money. Plus, since Western doesn’t consider me as enrolled in a course over the summer, I was denied Work Study. Now, I have no money and no job, and to just spread some cool-whip on the clusterfuck I will have a hard time finding a job because I will be away during the peak summer months. Son of a bitch. So. That’s it then. Consider me a hobo, a beggar-woman if you will. It’s tragic really, I had my whole life ahead of me.

And this is my future. Woe. Woe is me.

Gerard Butler!!! April 26, 2007

I want him.He seems like a genuinely awesome and funny guy. And sexy, can’t forget sexy.

Tractor Ridin’ April 24, 2007

Yesterday Dad taught Kayla how to use the riding lawn mower. As soon as I heard that engine rev I grabbed my camera and hightailed it outside. Good thing too.

It would be an awful dereliction of duty if Dad didn’t give Kayla the crash course (6 hours and 22 minutes) in tractor ridin’. Here he is, overseeing the event, making sure Kayla knows the difference between Turtle speed and Rabbit speed (apparently Rabbit speed makes you go fast. Go figure.).

Now here’s Kayla. Notice that she is riveted to Dad’s loquacious discussion on ……… well, I really have no idea what he was discussing. I wasn’t paying attention.

Kayla!! Pay attention!! This is the steering wheel, it makes you go straight or round and round! Are you sure you can handle this? I mean, this sucker has a top speed of 15km/h, and there are not 1, but 2 gear shift handle thingies. (Dad didn’t call them gear shift handle thingies, he used proper tractor terminology, but I wasn’t paying attention).

Ok, so one more check to make sure all 4 tires are present and accounted for (you must do this at least twice. Tires have a habit of running away when you least expect it).

And she’s off!!

Note the jerk at 0:36. Apparently Kayla wasn’t paying attenting in Acceleration 101. It’s a shame, that’s one of Dad’s most interesting lectures.

So after Kayla tried to mow me down, I got bored of her wheeling around and I took some nature pictures.

This one’s my favorite. Such a zen moment.

Now, I will leave you with another moment of zen:

Kayla, the crotch-pickin’ cowgirl.

HOOTERS!! April 24, 2007

I went to Hooters on Saturday for Jordy’s birthday. I admit to being slightly apprehensive, since Hooter’s has always seemed to me like a man’s domain. This greeted us upon arrival:

Which did nothing to assuage my fears. Go figure. He looks scary. Then we went inside. It wasn’t so bad inside.

Hooters girls wear a really weird outfit:

It’s not very attractive. What’s worst of all is the socks and shoes, and the pantyhose, which is a really odd shade. I looked all over the internet and most of the Hooters Girls pictures were from the knees up. I think that tells you something. Here’s what the bottom looks like:

Eww. Makes me have the same gag reflex as when I think of men who wear socks with sandals, or really, a naked guy wearing nothing but socks. Blech. Huge turn-off, although I doubt the men are paying much attention to anything below the knees. In fact, in my mind, this is all that men see:

This picture is flawed in that it shows the whole leg. Just image the legs cut off at the thighs.

I digress…………. anyway, we were at Hooters and it was weird because it kinda felt like I walked in on a room full of guys masterbating or something. I felt like a voyeur; watching men as they watched women. I came to the conclusion that slobbering over women and slobbering over a plate of wings just don’t go together in my mind, so it was a surreal event.

Did I mention it was Jordy’s birthday? We finished our meal and I was starting to get disappointed because there was no birthday humiliation, until our server came and yanked him into the main room and got him to stand on a chair. The humiliation had begun! Not one to let this moment pass by without milking it for all it was worth, I taped it so I could re-live the moment again and again. Here it is for your viewing pleasure:

HAHAHA!! Jordy shaking his ass for a roomful of men. Delightful!!

So it was a good night after all. A little abject humiliation can lighten any mood!!