I don’t want to toot my own horn or anything (ok I do), but I just wanted to let everyone know that I have made it to the top of Google. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I now have the honour of being the first entry under the search “Big Wobbly Spunk Bomb”. Honestly I have never been so proud. Go ahead, try it yourselves!
Fantasies September 29, 2007
I have a confession to make: I am a fantasy-aholic. Wow, felt good to get that off my chest, I’ve been keeping it secret (the kind of secret that everyone knows about) for far too long. My life is pretty boring, and kinda pathetic at times, so I’ve created a library of fantasies to fit every emotional need. Problem solved. Like any good addict (if you don’t use it, you lose it), I’ve devoted an enormous amount of time finding fodder for my various storylines. I’d like to share one with you now.
One of my favorite fantasy novels is called Green Rider by Kristen Britain. It is set in a mythical kingdom called Sacoridia, which is ruled by King Zachary. He’s hot. Anyway, the kingdom has a unit of messengers called the Green Riders. They ride on horseback, dressed in green uniforms and deliver messages to and from the castle. Oh, and I forgot to mention, they have magic powers that are given to them when they become green riders, through a brooch that they wear. The main character is a student who becomes a green rider kind of against her will and must carry an urgent message to the king. Needless to say she is chased by a group of evil people who want to get the message before it gets to the King. In the end, she delivers the message and helps to save the kingdom in an awesome battle. The next book continues the story with her battling for the kingdom and dealing with a little sexual tension with the king (miniscule amounts Kayla, they don’t even kiss, so don’t accuse me of reading porn, though I do….but this isn’t one of them).
So that’s the story. When I’m bored, sometimes I pretend that I’m a green rider and I make up adventures where I slay evil monsters, and ride on horseback, and have magical powers, and salivate over the hotness that is the king. Where am I going with this you might ask? Well, a year or so ago I found a really cool site where you can create superheroes, and I recently stumbled back onto it. Needless to say I created my fantasy-self and my fantasy-love interest. Here we are:
This is me all decked out in my green rider uniform. And that’s my horse, his name is Dagda, which refers to the Irish God of the Earth. My brooch allows me to control nature, I can speed up or slow down streams, make it rain or snow, create walls of vines or separate trees to make a path. It’s an awesome power.
This is the King:
He’s hot, but he’s not perfected yet……there’s something a little off. Anyway, he doesn’t have any superpowers, but he’s the king so he doesn’t need any. He has lots of dogs, this one’s name is Mischief.
So here we are! I can spend hours coming up with fun adventures, but sooner or later I come crashing back to reality.
This is closer to reality, big feet and all, minus the defined waist and cool wolf companion. Oh and the hair, there was nothing that came close to the monstrosity that is usually my hair. Note: I found my amber necklace as an option, isn’t that cool?
Here is the link for the Superhero creator if you’d like to make your own. Trust me, it’s tons of fun!!
Rated R for Raw Oyster September 27, 2007
This an adult site, but I think you’ll get a kick out of it. SmellMeAnd.Com. Yowzaz. That’s not right.
Learning and the Brain September 27, 2007
I had an arts class on Monday. I usually like the class, my prof is a fun gal and the class isn’t too long. This day though, the most annoying mature student, was late for class and took the seat directly beside me. Nevermind the fact that I had purposely laid out all my crap on the connecting desk so people (her in particular, and I’ll tell you why in a moment) would get the hint and sit elsewhere, and by the by, there’s was plenty of elsewhere. So here I am crowded by Miss. I-Like-To-Ask-”Intelligent”-Questions-So-I-Can-Annoy-My-Classmates-And-Impress-The-Prof-While-In-Reality-Really-Pissing-Her-Off. Whew, that’s quite the title, especially since, wouldn’t you know, she was also crowned Miss. Bubonic Plague 2007.This is what I put up with for 3 straight hours, and a tutorial:
It was a nightmare. The disease vector (as I fondly like to call her)spread mucous over every squre inch of the desk and probably succeeded in giving me the plague. How am I supposed to learn if I have the plague?
This was my brain before. Look, it’s so pink and happy, and completely unaware of all the horrible diseases which lay in wait, hoping to devour the tasty pink brain matter.
This is my brain, with the plague. Brown, morose, frothy. That is not a healthy brain. That is a brain that makes you twitch, and foam at the mouth, and lose bowel control. I don’t want to lose bowel control, or froth at the mouth, though I admit being twitchy could be kinda funny.
Thank God I’m a walking pharmacy and had hand sanitizer with me. I think I offended her because I practically hosed myself down with it every time she sneezed. I think it’s a distinct possibility that if you licked my hands you could get drunk from all the residual alcohol. Anyone wanna try?
