Merry Christmas!!! December 25, 2007

A History of Terry Christmases:

Christmas 1988:

Kayla eating decorations.

Jordy farted.

Grandpa heling me with my boots.

Eating oranges. Yummy!

Christmas in the hospital.

1989:

Jordy and I putting decorations on the underside of the tree. We’re awesome!

“The stars in the bright sky looked down where he lay, the little lord Jesus asleep on the hay!”

Mailing letters to Santa. I want an ice cream maker and a pony!!!!!

SANTA CAME!!!!!!!!!!

1990:

Santa came again!!!!!!! Wow!!!!! Presents!!!!!!

The year of Mandy Walker and the crane.

1991:

Listening to Norad.

Santa arrived!!!

A new Barbie house!!

1992:

Awaiting Christmas.

The problem with child labor is that they are clumsy and slow. For those of you who are not familiar with the story, Kayla threw a log through the back window of Dad’s pickup.

Dad, fix my mitt, they’re not tucked in and snow is getting in.

The Trekky years begin!!

Playing on the computer Christmas morning. I guess I’ve always liked pink!

1993:

We’re getting better at the whole decorating thing.

Letters to Santa again.

I’m pretty, oh so pretty!! I’m pretty and witty and bright!!!!

Grandma’s with us this year, and wouldn’t you know it, Santa came again!!!

Oh for the years when drawing a picture constitutes a perfectly awesome Christmas gift.

1994:

Playing with Christmas Eve gifts.

1995:

That Santa is always at our house, he should start paying rent!

The year of the science kit.

Look Daddy, I made a rust molecule!!! Could I be any more of a nerd?!?!

1996:

Another Christmas Pageant. Kayla seems so serious!!

1997:

Mom playing Santa.

So that’s the end of the Christmas on tape. Hope you enjoyed this walk down memory lane!! Merry Christmas!!!!

Schmucked December 21, 2007

Yeah, yeah, we was in a acxident. It schucked!

I don’t really have anything left to say. Oh, maybe, the first said when we had finished spinning was “Kayla, are you alright?!” and Kayla said, “I don’t have the cellphone!”. Then the only thing Kayla said, over and over, for the next couple hours were, “I’m so cold!!!”. Oh, one more thing, I got bitched out by the woman in the passenger seat of the other car. I went over to make sure they were okay, and she kept screaming at me: “FUCK!!!! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING!!! FUCK!!!! FUCK YOU!!!! and then when I walked away from her: “YOU BETTER NOT FUCKING LEAVE!!! FUCKING GET BACK HERE!!!” The driver was all like, “Shit happens dude.”

Here are the pics:

We’re both alright. I have a bruise on my shoulder and I’m a little stiff, so is Kayla but other than that, no injuries.

Christmas Pictures December 18, 2007

Our Christmas tree:

Kayla and I sure pimped it out didn’t we?!?

And snow sparkles:

Dad, I Blame You: The Great Cookie Debacle December 16, 2007

Owing to the fact that me and sleep (excuse the grammar, sleep and I just sounded stupid in this sentence) are still not seeing eye to eye, I decided to be a smartypants and do some of the baking that Mom and I (see, I can be grammatically correct) need to get done for Christmas. Now, hubris comes into play here because I have always seen myself as a really good baker. Very little that I attempt turns out badly. Until now……..

Mom wants to send some ginger cookies and a date square to Grandpa for Christmas. I don’t know what recipe she uses for the date square so I decided on the ginger cookies, I mean, what could go wrong with ginger cookies? The answer: EVERYTHING!!!

I made my batter and it was good, everything was proceeding as planned. Next step: baking. And that’s where it all went horribly wrong.

The first batch:

AAAAHHHHH!!! They’re burnt!!!! The kitchen smells like burning!!!! I’m a failure!!! I deserve to be flogged!! I will never be able to bake in this town again!! …………

For batch number two, I turned the temperature down to 350 and only baked them for 9 minutes:

They look a little better, but they’re still a little burnt and kinda tiny.

Batch Number Three:

Perfect!! Too bad the only good cookies are the last 4. This is horrible. I’ve never felt so useless……

But wait.

Not one to suffer needlessly and take ownership of my mistakes, I’ve decided to hand over this entire mess to Dad. Dad, it’s your fault.

Exhibit A: The Recipe

Bailiff: Order in the court! This is docket number 666, the people versus Ernest Howard Terry, Judge Dread presiding.

Judge: Prosecution you may begin:

Prosecution: Mr. Terry, I would like to begin by asking you a few questions about your daughter. Have you had the opportunity of eating Ms. Terry’s baking in the past?

Dad: Why yes I have.

Prosecution: And would you say Ms. Terry is competent at the task?

Dad: Of course! She makes an amazing tiramisu, and her cheesecake is great, oh, and she made pumpkin loaf a while back and it was really good!!

Prosecution: The people would like to submit into evidence exhibit A, a recipe for ginger cookies. Mr. Terry, is this your handwriting?

Dad: Yes, yes it is.

Prosecution: And did you, Mr. Terry, purposefully and knowingly write out the oven temperature and baking time?

Dad: Yes, I believe I did.

Prosecution: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the defendant has so stated that he in fact wrote down the oven temperature and baking time in the recipe labeled exhibit A. The defendant has admited that his daughter is in fact an excellent cook with an excellent reputation. We must concluded then that the responsibility for the horrible ginger cookies does not lie with Ms. Terry, but lies in fact with the person who wrote the recipe, in this case, Mr. Terry. The prosecution rests Your Honor.

Judge: This is an open and shut case. Mr. Terry, you are convicted of tarnishing Ms. Terry’s reputation. You are sentenced to one year of probation, in addition, you must double Ms. Terry’s Christmas presents this year, give her lots of hugs and kisses, and eat the burnt cookies while saying “MMMmmmm!! These cookies are delicious!”.

*Bang of the Gavel*

Victory is Mine!!!!

Who Are You? December 14, 2007

Who are you guys?!? Do we know each other? I’m intrigued!!!

I don’t think I know anyone in most of these places….. care to become acquainted?